Seriously...Britney's new video 'aint that bad! You go, Brit Brit!

Dora knows all the cool dances! I want to be JUST LIKE HER when I grow up.

I'm definitely busting this dance out in the clubs! Lol! This mix is redonkulous! Crank That + Lion King?!? What the....

Thanks to the 103.5 Kiss-FM hook up, I was able to see Lindsey Lohan's new movie last night before everyone else could! Yeah, I'm cool like that;)

So, if you're like me, and want to go see this film ONLY because of her REHAB stint,I've gotta say it depends how much Perez Hilton you have in your bloodstream.

If you wanna have a good laugh with your friends and bond over the fact that you can't help but feel sorry for the poor girl because the move was THAT BAD,it's worth seeing! We left the movie thinking, "oh my god....was that a bad dream, because no one would REALLY have the balls to produce something that HORRIBLE!!!"

I went into the film knowing nothing about it except for the fact that Lindsey Lohan was in it. If I had to compare Lindsey's horror flick to another, it would be the equivalent to SAW III meets PARENT TRAP GONE WILD meets a YOUTUBE version of Silence of the Lambs. Oh! And meets that PSA announcement from back in the day, 'This Is Your Brain On Drugs.' The one with the sizzling egg in the pan?! haha! Yeah, that one!

 Any whoo.....Back to the movie:

The best part in the whole film was this HORRIBLE line in the script. I never laughed so hard in my life and it was suppose to be a really deep moment:

Lindsey Lohan AKA Dakota Moss (a stripper with no health insurance), mysteriously has her finger turn black and gangrene. The finger falls off and she's bleeding all over the place. So, "Dakota" says she'll be fine, leaves the strip club early, and gets on a bus with a towel wrapped over her bleeding hand. She handles the situation REALLY well and looks all bad-ass on the public trans bus, smoking a cig while her hand is profusely bleeding in this towel. This Vato dude on the bus tells her to hold her hand above her heart and "Dakota" says...

***BEST PART!! PAY ATTENTION HERE!!***

Dakota (Lindsey Lohan): "So, are you gonna ask me WHY I'm bleeding?!"

VATO LOCO: "Nah....that's life, everybody gets cut sometime."

My Reaction: "what?!?!! hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa who says that!!"

The Theatre Audience: "hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, can this get any worse!!" (and it does, trust me)

SO THEN, "DAKOTA" goes HOME with the vato guy who's really nonchalant about her finger. I don't know about you, but if my finger randomly fell off, I think the last thing on my mind is going home with a dude who is trying to romance me by saying to hold my hand above my heart and keeps repeating some line about gettin' cut!

That was BY FAR the best part in the movie. Besides the fact that the wanna-be Hannibal Lector was making-out with wooden, prosthetic legs.....

Eventhough I just wrote soo much crap about Lindsey's movie right now, it was seriously SOO bad it was good! I can definitely see this movie becoming some weird cult classic in twenty years and a broadway play being made about it. hahaaa!

 In conclusion, all I have to say is I KNOW WHAT KILLED LINDSEY LOHAN's CAREER: This Movie, FO SHO!

Ok...enough rambling. If I find the picture of the "cut choo" dude, I'm definitely posting it!

 

I read about this YouTUBE video in The Red Eye today, so if you were just as curious as I was to check it out, HERE IT IS! This video got SOO much hype on YOUTUBE, that the guys who created the video made tons of money selling the rights to it to McDonalds. Thanks to some Chi-Town guys, McNuggets are HOTT again. MMM...BBQ sauce!