call today for a trial offer of the 3-step system that I use!! if you don't like it, send it ALL BACK for a FULL REFUND! 

I LOVE IT!!!!

call today for a trial offer of the 3-step system that I use! if you don't like it, don't fret my pets..you can send it back, empty bottles in all! call today for all the details!

i love it!!!!

COME JOIN ME, FRIDAY JUNE 6TH FOR MY ANNUAL BIRTHDAY PARTY AT MY FAVORITE BAR IN INDIANA!!

THE REGISTRY BAR AND GRILL IN CHESTERTON, INDIANA!

I'M TURNING 29 AND IN ORDER TO DO THIS, I NEED ALCOHOL AND ALL OF THE SHENANIGAN'S THAT CROSSING THE STATE LINE HAS TO OFFER!!!!!

LET'S BOOZE AND CELEBRATE MY MOM AND DAD CREATING LIFE IN THE FORM OF ME!

HOLLLLLLLLAHAH!

GOLDSCHLAGGER, PLEASE. THANKYOUVERYMUCH. HELL, I GOT TO WHILE I STILL CAN!

PARTY STARTS AT 11 PM!!!!!!!!!

The Registry

(219) 929-6400
711 Plaza Dr, Ste 1
Chesterton, IN

IS IT JUST ME....

or does anyone feel bad for holly madison? don't get me wrong..i like hugh hefner...i think he's a really genuine guy..sure, he breaks for hooters but he manages to somehow do it tastefully..i like playboy..really, i do.

i happen to like holly madison as well. she's funny. a funny that isn't like the other two..who only seem to satisfy show purposes. bridgett i think is semi-genuine..but too ambitious for a relationship and the other one, well...it's not rocket science, folks.

but i was reading in the sun-times this morning that holly and bridget were in town..and when they asked bridget what her future plans were..she said she would like to travel and give holly and hef..."some private time"...

then they asked holly if she would ever be married...and she said she doesn't think she will ever be married...then they asked her if she would have kiddos anytime soon and she said..she hoped to before she "expires"..?

i think it sucks that those are her answers..because i believe em. my heart goes out to her because she knows he has no plans to get married..but she stays..

is she wrong for staying? or is he being a bit unreasonable if he really loves her?

and why do i feel so sad when she gets interviewed...

granted as with all tabloid publicity, they could already be hitched and just keeping it a secret but i don't buy that for a second...i really believe he's a no-go.

and to top it all off..if he dies, she gets a million dollars. while that's nice and unfortunate of his death..(wishing him only good health)...where does that leave her? is it a million for her broken heart?

do they all get a million?

i wish they would marry. not for the money..or the house...or the magazine..

for love. am i wrong? anyone else feel this??

clink clink goes my wine glass....

I'm pretty sure I figured out the secret of Lost....

you tell me yours and I will tell you mine...go!

okay people, bring on the lost theories...share them with me! that way, i can steal them and make them my own, on air.

im kidding.

truth is, im going KRAZY trying to figure it out. the sheer genius of the show leaves me in a tizzy to begin with..who, what , when, where..do they come up with this?

and am i slow for having trouble keeping up with it?

i hear they are putting an extra episode on the last two seasons to compensate for the writer's strike...sa-weet.

here's what i think so far....

-i like ben. he seems to serve a good purpose now....he makes me laugh.

-i'm sick of kate. wash yer clothes, already! and why does she have baby aaron? who says she is fit to be a mother? actin all important and shiz...ugh.

-dear jack, get it together. with each episode, i get annoyed with jack. he's a bit of a wimp. i think he knows aaron is his nephew.

-charlie is alive. they rescued him when they saw him sacrifice himself for the others to live..others as in the oceanic passengers..not the "other" others.

-claire is dead. and evil. what's with the smirk?

-jack's father scares me.

-hurley may be headed out..although he makes me laugh..that boy is crazy. he seems to be the most mental of em all. i want him to be happy. they use him. he lets them.

-sun and jin, bring em back. i loves me some jin. sun is cool too..what's up with the baby? tell us tell us tell us. does jin die? do they break up? he is the real father?

-rose and bernard, things go right when they are around. hence, them never wanting to leave. what keeps these two alive is simple, LOVE. they seem to know the truth of life and they are blessed. love is the means of survival for them.

-sawyer, are you alive or dead, brother? and why is kate running errands for you a million miles away? please take off your shirt soon. god, i love you.

-michael, i could care less what happens to you. you give me nothing.

-locke, is superhuman. now. he posesses something unreal. i have not quite figured it out.

-ship guy who slit the captain's throat...YOU ARE DONE.

-desmond..i love the hair short. hot. or hawt. you and penelope reunite. after you begin killing for ben like sayid. i think desmond is the only one who will realize he is in time travel and will choose to stay suspeneded in time. the time when he was the happiest.

-sayid, karma baby. karma.

OKAY, YA'LLS TURN....

french-manicured nails..

tanning salon...

parties when my parents were out of town..

being in love with a boy named, drew...

sonic slushees

getting kicked off the basketball team..

pickles and lucas..

pizza and big red..

toilet papering...

sleepovers..

senioritis..

prom...

hotel room stays...

fake id's...

dance competitions...

all of the above remind me of this girl. i wonder if she remembers it, too? if i could go back to that time...i would in a heartbeat. im curious to see what this brings..and hope it especially brings back memories of her. because i miss her. but i know she can see it, too. we will laugh together in spirit.

well if this isn't a monday...

crappy word comes in now..that the second love of my life..is..yup, engaged. engaged to possibly the sexiest girl..yes, girl..in the world.

scar jo has hook ryan freakin reynolds. they have dated for over a year following breakups with alanis morissette and josh "unibrow" hartnett.

how do you go from alanis to scar jo...? how in the world did josh hartnett land scar jo?

ryan reynolds is one of the prettiest boys i have ever laid eyes on...hes got this awesome little mouth that barely covers his perfect teeth but kinda scrunches up when he speaks and then smiles...he's tan, he's HILARIOUS, he's sexy, he's ripped and he's canadian.

recently i have found myself to be a big fan of canadians..i appreciate their laid-back attitudes and not even trying, hotness.

yes, yes, they are a super hot couple...i would kill to watch them have sex. KILL.

yum.

well, let's see if these two make it to the altar...why not? everyone else is!

oh damn you, monday! damn you!!!

please please please give me good news, tomorrow.

p.s. has anyone heard scar-jo's new song...it is a remake of tom waits. it's...well...um...a remake. yikes.

i was trying to think of a really witty way to tell ya'll it was official...like..

"it's official, folks....

"nick cannon is legally required to touch mariah carey's body anytime he wants.."

"mariah carey's dreamlover has rescued her...it's nick cannon"

"honey's got mariah carey hooked on nick cannon.."

"nothin to shake off between mariah carey of nick cannon..EXCEPT FOR CLOTHES.."

and then i tried to think of something witty that nick cannon did...

"the world is wild 'n out after hearing mariah carey and nick cannon have performed the ultimate improv sketch.."

and thats it.

i remember he was a movie with christina milian..it was a spin-off of the patrick dempsey movie.."can't buy me"..to which i could say..

"nick cannon certainly has proved money can buy you love with mariah carey.."

but that is just mean. funny...mean.

what if this is the real thing? we all know how picky mimi can be...perhaps she has found the ideal mate...a younger man who will be completely enthralled by her...yeah, the money helps..but maybe she has caught onto the ashton/demi secret...

where are all of you 21 year olds...i'm turning 29 in june...this morning i felt sad about it but now i'm thinking maybe i should live it up hollywood style..

i do own a pair of shake it off shorts...

i never know what is going on with john mayer...seems his new deal is wearing an 80's inspired, feathered cut..because he thinks it's "cool".

he's a pretty nutty guy, i give him that but i'm not sure where this is coming from and on the upside, i can't see where jennifer aniston would think this to be, attractive.

when i first saw it, i almost threw up in my mouth.

sadly, i still think he is smokin hot.

what is going on with john mayer??

does anyone know anything?

send help, now.

WHOA-OH, GRAVITY. IS WORKIN..AGAINST ME.

AND GRAVITY, WANTS TO BRING ME DOWN.

does anyone hear the loud, thundering, booming, earth-shattering sadness taking over my heart?

like the dryness of a desert..when i'm thirsty for a drop.

the savory taste of a dirty martini when you first take a sip.

the scratching off of a winning lottery ticket that you can turn in for a bag of cheetohs..then crunch fully aware..they are cheezy-free.

the popularity of vanilla ice cream..the smell of pepperoni pizza..

the perfect pink color of cotton candy..a hotdog from wrigley field..

getting to the front of the line of your favorite rollercoaster ride while your insides jump..

im so pissed.

I GET NONE OF THAT. NOOOOTHING.

at first i thought.."well, jennifer aniston". she deserves something. i mean, you think you are insecure..look at her. her ex dumped her for literally, the sexiest woman in the WORLD. self-esteem? hello, where are you?

yes, she is probably my favorite on friends. she auditioned for saturday night live at one point..she has amazing hair. i like her movies. she is awfully charitable.

fine. i think i am nervous because unlike the rest who were sooo obviously NEVER gonna work out..(jessica simpson, laughable...minka kelly, who?...cameron diaz, jt leftovers...) this one...ma..maaa...m...ma..MAY work.

he is a sinfully, magical musician who bleeds into his music and is a mel t. whisperer..she is an overlooked comedian..she really is..and i adore comedy.

"i'm tired of being alone..so hurry up and get here..so tired of being alone..so hurry up and get here..you'd be soo good..for me. you'd be soo good for me.."

"these days with the world gettin colder...she's spends more time sleepin over..than i planned..tonight were gonna order in..drink some wine and watch some cnn..it's dark i know, but then again..she's the brightest thing i got..when i'm covered in rain..raiiiinnnn"

i am in hell.

i am just upset..that i am okay with it..sort of..

maybe i'm hungry...check back after dinner.

mama, make it go away. bein a stalker is soooo hard. soo hard. soooooo hard.

standing by for dr. denver's remarks.."did you see john mayer and jennifer aniston in miami?"

YES! JESUS, YES YES YES. ALRIGHT? YES! FINE. I SAW IT. EFF.

i did not mean that, let me buy some twizzlers...

what in the hell is going on here? damn you, ashton effing kutcher.

okay, i'm a super dee duper mariah carey fan..nick cannon, eh. i loooooove mimi. love love love love love her. so much that i insisted dr. denver feel the noise and bring the funk..even in the operating room, thanks to a fellow doctor who was allegedly already in a m.c. whip.

i even have "shake it off" shorts that totally look sad on me..but i wear because it's funny. i once got catapulted across the pool deck while wearing them and rollerskating..seriously, the things i do for her!

is this real? am i the only one who wants to puke and feels light-headed? maybe it was lunch..but maybe, just maybe..i'm wild'n out. LAME. show is so freakin stooopid.

she's a glorious 38..he's a tender 27. didn't he just get un-engaged from that victoria's secret model? the one he proposed to after dating a mere month?? right after he broke up with christina milian?

they barely know eachother..wtf? why is this kid so quick to propose? why is he so wanting to be married and keeps landing super hot chicks?

he is NICK CANNON.

i'm overwhelmed.

i need to do laundry and i don't want to...ever. but i will.

the tanning lotion i used today had tingle in it..and i'm still tingling.

i wish i was back at the nail salon getting a pedicure..the part where they rub your legs..and i doze off.

DAMN YOU, ASHTON KUTCHER.

S.O.S.

CHECK THIS OUT FOR YOURSELF!

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=167106

ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL!! I LOVE THIS MAN!

i seem to have some odd obsession with drew barrymore that i decided to blog about today..

i dont know why i always think about how i feel about her..i dont wanna scissor sister her or anything..i just feel so confused by if i am a fan..or not.

i was sitting her watching "lucky you" and all i seem to feel while watching it is "unlucky me" for choosing to watch it.

its got key players in it that i love, horatio sanz...debra messing..eric "smokin hot" bana...but i cant seem to fully enjoy it and find myself quickly searching for a back-pocket excuse/lie if someone asks me if ive seen it at a party or small, intimate gathering...

"i fell asleep with it on in the background..didnt really pay attention"

"i love will and grace"

"i wanna bang eric bana"

"i heart vegas"

all of these, locked and loaded. i got a rep to protect, people.

and on a side note, i am a full supporter should we type-cast eric bana.

troy 2, D2.

troy III "he had it comin"

troy vs. helen of troy "the skank who brought us down"

troy and beyond "save a spartan, hide inside a trojan horse"

all of the above, though amusing, beside the point.

do i like drew barrymore or not? sure, charlies angels was fun. ever after, ruled. riding in cars with boys made me laugh a little..but are we more interested in her past? the booze, the drugs..the marriage to tom green?? hell, even i was hoping for a mental divorce from knowing she did that.

or maybe its the super tan she has in the covergirl ads..and her sweet action, red hair.

i guess i dig her. just not this movie..again, unlucky me.

27 dresses comes out today! im on dress number 15!

103.5 KISS FM and The Hancock Observatory invite you to the Ultimate Girls Night Out on Wednesday, May 14th from 7p-11pm with me and Nina Chantele!!!!!!!

Get in on food, drinks and a chance to win a trip for four to NYC, and passes to 103.5 KISS FM's exclusive Chicago screening of "Sex and the City".

Click here for more information and to purchase tickets!!! 

 http://1035kissfm.zipscene.com/events/view/304194  

AMY POEHLER IS PREGO!!!

I JUST HAVE TO SAY THAT THIS MAKES ME GREEN WITH ENVY..LIKE YOU WOULD'NT BELIEVE.

THE HUMOR THAT THIS CHILD WILL BE BORN WITH..IS BEYOND MEASUREMENT.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE HER.

NOT A LESBIAN, LAPLICKER LOVE..BUT REAL, COMEDIC GENIUS LOVE.

IM SOOO JEALOUS.

BRING ON THE BABY MAMA!