WHOA-OH, GRAVITY. IS WORKIN..AGAINST ME.

AND GRAVITY, WANTS TO BRING ME DOWN.

does anyone hear the loud, thundering, booming, earth-shattering sadness taking over my heart?

like the dryness of a desert..when i'm thirsty for a drop.

the savory taste of a dirty martini when you first take a sip.

the scratching off of a winning lottery ticket that you can turn in for a bag of cheetohs..then crunch fully aware..they are cheezy-free.

the popularity of vanilla ice cream..the smell of pepperoni pizza..

the perfect pink color of cotton candy..a hotdog from wrigley field..

getting to the front of the line of your favorite rollercoaster ride while your insides jump..

im so pissed.

I GET NONE OF THAT. NOOOOTHING.

at first i thought.."well, jennifer aniston". she deserves something. i mean, you think you are insecure..look at her. her ex dumped her for literally, the sexiest woman in the WORLD. self-esteem? hello, where are you?

yes, she is probably my favorite on friends. she auditioned for saturday night live at one point..she has amazing hair. i like her movies. she is awfully charitable.

fine. i think i am nervous because unlike the rest who were sooo obviously NEVER gonna work out..(jessica simpson, laughable...minka kelly, who?...cameron diaz, jt leftovers...) this one...ma..maaa...m...ma..MAY work.

he is a sinfully, magical musician who bleeds into his music and is a mel t. whisperer..she is an overlooked comedian..she really is..and i adore comedy.

"i'm tired of being alone..so hurry up and get here..so tired of being alone..so hurry up and get here..you'd be soo good..for me. you'd be soo good for me.."

"these days with the world gettin colder...she's spends more time sleepin over..than i planned..tonight were gonna order in..drink some wine and watch some cnn..it's dark i know, but then again..she's the brightest thing i got..when i'm covered in rain..raiiiinnnn"

i am in hell.

i am just upset..that i am okay with it..sort of..

maybe i'm hungry...check back after dinner.

mama, make it go away. bein a stalker is soooo hard. soo hard. soooooo hard.

standing by for dr. denver's remarks.."did you see john mayer and jennifer aniston in miami?"

YES! JESUS, YES YES YES. ALRIGHT? YES! FINE. I SAW IT. EFF.

i did not mean that, let me buy some twizzlers...