what in the hell is going on here? damn you, ashton effing kutcher.

okay, i'm a super dee duper mariah carey fan..nick cannon, eh. i loooooove mimi. love love love love love her. so much that i insisted dr. denver feel the noise and bring the funk..even in the operating room, thanks to a fellow doctor who was allegedly already in a m.c. whip.

i even have "shake it off" shorts that totally look sad on me..but i wear because it's funny. i once got catapulted across the pool deck while wearing them and rollerskating..seriously, the things i do for her!

is this real? am i the only one who wants to puke and feels light-headed? maybe it was lunch..but maybe, just maybe..i'm wild'n out. LAME. show is so freakin stooopid.

she's a glorious 38..he's a tender 27. didn't he just get un-engaged from that victoria's secret model? the one he proposed to after dating a mere month?? right after he broke up with christina milian?

they barely know eachother..wtf? why is this kid so quick to propose? why is he so wanting to be married and keeps landing super hot chicks?

he is NICK CANNON.

i'm overwhelmed.

i need to do laundry and i don't want to...ever. but i will.

the tanning lotion i used today had tingle in it..and i'm still tingling.

i wish i was back at the nail salon getting a pedicure..the part where they rub your legs..and i doze off.

DAMN YOU, ASHTON KUTCHER.

S.O.S.